The workplace ties with the Internet as the number one place where cheating husbands find someone with whom to have an affair. In one study, 73 percent of the men who had extramarital affairs, met their partner at work. Workplace affairs are notoriously hard to detect unless they spill over into non-working hours. But all that changes at Christmas time. Christmas parties have a way of exposing workplace affairs.
That’s why you should attend your husband’s office Christmas party, if you suspect him of being romantically involved with someone on his job. This is one of the best opportunities you’ll have to find out if what you suspect is true. By watching your husband interact with his female co-workers, you’ll be able to tell if he’s having a workplace affair. You should even be able to pick out which of his workmates is his lover by the way he behaves in her presence, and how she acts around him. Their body language and behavior around each other will easily give them away. Knowing what to look for is the key.
The first order of business is to make sure you get invited to your husband’s office Christmas party. If he’s involved in a workplace affair, he’ll probably try every trick in the book to ensure that you don’t attend, including:
Not inviting you, or even telling you that the annual Christmas party is taking place.
Discouraging you from accompanying him by saying you’ll be bored, or feel out of place.
Telling you the party is for employees only, when it’s not. Inviting you at the last possible minute, so you won’t have time to make arrangements to attend.
Mentioning the Christmas party but not telling you when or where it’s being held.
Telling you that because of the recession, his company is canceling the Christmas party this year.
THREE WAYS TO CIRCUMVENT HIS TACTICS:
1. Ask him about the party early in December.
Find out when and where it’s being held.
2. Verify what he tells you by checking someone you know from his job, or the company Human Resources or Personnel Department.
Prepare ahead of time for the big event. Get your hair and nails done, have an outfit ready, and line up a sitter well in advance,
TIPS TO HELP AT THE PARTY:
A company-sponsored social event like the annual Christmas party gives you a rare chance to observe your husband interact in a social setting with the females on his job.
1. Introduce yourself to other employees and their guests.
Be friendly. Let them know who you are. Someone may be dying to tip you off you about your cheating husband’s workplace affair. Every December I hear from women asking if it’s okay take a cheating co-worker’s wife aside at the Christmas party and tell her that her husband is having an affair.
2. Keep your eyes and ears open.
Ashlee noticed one of Richard’s female co-workers repeatedly glancing in their direction. Kelly, the woman in question was openly hostile towards Ashlee when they were finally introduced. Once, when Ashlee came back from the ladies room, she found Richard and Kelly in a corner of the room having in a heated discussion, which they abruptly broke off when Ashlee reappeared. By asking some discreet questions and comparing what she learned with what she already knew, Ashlee was able to confirm that Richard and Kelly were indeed having an affair.
3. Listen to the office gossip.
There’s no telling what you might overhear. One wife overheard the following comment about her husband at his company Christmas party: “That’s his wife? He’s married? But I thought he was seeing Maureen.”
4. Observe his behavior and that of his female workmates.
Knowing what to look for is the key. .
5. Verify some of the things you’ve been told.
Engage others in casual conversation. You may find that your husband’s boss knows nothing about all the overtime he claims to have been working, or the special project that has consumed all his weekends for the past 3 months.
6. Confirm or disprove what you suspect.
Dawn finally got a chance to meet Estelle, the receptionist her husband Brian was always talking talked about. Much to Dawn’s relief, Estelle was a vivacious little gray-haired lady who worked part-time at the firm, and was old enough to be Brian’s mother.
7. Use the party to your advantage.
Make friends with some of the women he works with, or the wives of other men on his job. Exchange phone numbers, if appropriate. It may come in handy one day.
ONE LAST REASON TO ATTEND:
Even if you don’t suspect a workplace affair, there’s another very important reason to attend your husband’s office Christmas party. Christmas parties can be breeding grounds for workplace infidelity. One private investigation firm found that an affair with a co-worker is more likely to start at the annual holiday party than at any other time of the year. This is prime time for a work spouse relationship to progress to a workplace affair. Many employees view the company Christmas party as a time to let loose. One study estimated that 54 percent of office partygoers will be caught in amorous situations with co-workers. A number of these Christmas party flirtations will escalate into full-fledged workplace affairs. By attending the office Christmas party with your husband, your presence may act as a deterrent and possibly keep a work spouse relationship from turning into a workplace affair.